My ADHD Brain, Episode Eight: Out of Time

So, one of the biggest things associated with ADHD is that we are bad at time keeping and can suffer from time blindness. 

Personally, this isn;t my worst ADHD trait, there are other things I am way worse at, but I am not great either. I do find I can totally lose track of time, and can think of some particularly notorious instances  in my past of being hours late and missing stuff entirely because the thing I was doing beforehand distracted me totally. But at some point, and I think it was in my mid 20s, I flipped the opposite way. I now get quite stressed and anxious about the possibility of being late. I overthink and over plan to ensure I get somewhere on time which means I am often super early but usually a bit stressed on arrival. 

As with so many things in ADHD, it’s all about extremes. For me, if I have to turn up somewhere at a specific time I will do one of the following three things, and there is no inbetween. 

Option A:

Be very late, by which I mean more than 45 minutes late. This results from not knowing or seriously underestimating the process of getting there, or not being able to find the place due to crapness at directions, crapness at map reading, and total lack of orientational awareness. Or it stems from having forgotten entirely, or thinking it was on a different day or at a different time. Again, I have got much much better at this over the years, though I suspect a lot of that is due to online calendars. 

Option B: 

Obsessively prepare and stress, usually printing off huge wads of paper with maps and instructions, highlighting and annotating bits, maybe even writing myself a point by point plan (literally ‘go to ticket desk, make sure this is no later than 11.20, after getting ticket make sure I remember a loo stop but THERE WILL BE NO TIME FOR COFFEE OR SNACK, then find the correct platform number which can be done by looking at the big board located in the middle opposite Cafe Nero’). That is a real life example from something I did a few years ago. My friend thought it was hilarious so I always kept it, but I was kinda embarrassed because I thought everyone wrote themselves these kinds of notes. It works though, as I am rarely late nowadays. I now have form for turning up very early to things. I am that annoying person who turns up 40 minutes early while the trainers are still setting something up. This leads me to option C.

Option C: 

Turns up super early and is stuck making small talk with people who are trying to set up the event, who would probably rather I am not there. So, I decide to go in hunt for decent coffee/pastry or just ‘have a little wander’. This, of course, has the result of making me late because I get lost or lose track of time. So, I obsessively plan, get there waaaaay too early, then wander off and end up actually being late. Oh yes folks, good old Option C is my commonest scenario. 

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